The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
