The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
