My first STD was from a foam party
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize