Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
