She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
