it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
