I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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