i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
