Little spoons don't ask big questions
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
