I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize