I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
