where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
