Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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