Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i drank out of a bidet.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
