I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
