quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
