we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
