and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize