I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We got so high we made milksteak
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You need Xanax blowdarts
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize