Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
