I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
