We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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