I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
