I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
