hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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