Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
