Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
