How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
