Are we in a gay sports bar?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
