I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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