So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
