She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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