oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
