he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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