My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
