I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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