Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love having hate sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
