if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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