Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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