I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
