and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Randomize