KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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