She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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