I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Someone shit on the floor
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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