Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
