FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
