just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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