Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize