we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
