Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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