Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just took my morning after pill in the library
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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