I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
