I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
