i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
