you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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