idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
