Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
