Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
