Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
