i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
